How To Overcome Your Fear Of Intimacy

By: Sameep Shah

Intimacy is revealing private things about yourself to someone, things that you keep close to your heart. It lays bare the innermost part of who you are to someone that you love and trust. It places you in a vulnerable position where someone can take advantage of you and
cause you great pain. For this reason, some people shy away from intimacy. They have a fear of it.

Fear of intimacy can also be a result of how you were raised. If you were brought up with stereotypical gender roles of women and men, you may have preconceived ideas on how you should act as the male or female. This may inhibit you, resulting in an inability to express how you feel emotionally and physically to your partner.

To overcome a fear of intimacy, you will need to look closely at your relationship, to determine where you are having difficulties. There are things you can do.

1. Comfort Level
Discover what triggers a favorable reaction in you when you're with your partner. It could be holding hands. It may be sitting and talking to each other about significant or insignificant things. The key is to start with what feels comfortable to you. Being aware of this, will enable you to create intimacy on a deeper level.

2. Society and Culture
Do not underestimate the role that society and culture has played in influencing and contributing to your "fear of intimacy." Stereotypes of male and female roles cause barriers to intimacy. They stifle and restrict what is acceptable for men and women.
Often these factors are so embedded in someone's thinking that they block their ability for genuine intimacy with a partner.

This can be overcome by approaching your relationship in a non-judgemental and non-critical way. You have to determine if you want your relationship defined by these stereotypical roles. You must decide if clinging to these cultural beliefs are impeding your intimacy. In some cultures, men are not suppose to show vulnerability. Women are suppose to be submissive. And they are made to feel unfeminine if they express assertiveness and ambition.

3. Role Models
There is no greater impact on intimacy then role models, particularly family and friends. It will certainly have a negative affect on you to have your partner comparing how you do something with the way their mother did it. Trying to fulfill some expectation passed down from family role models can strain a relationship and cause an inability to be intimate.

To buy into other people ideas about how to conduct your marriage, may keep you from obtaining the intimacy you longed for in your relationship. If you want to "overcome a fear of intimacy," attitudes and beliefs must be challenged by you and not taken as a road map to your marriage or relationship.

Article Source: http://www.articlepro.co.uk/international

For more articles and information please visit keys to a successful marriage. You can also read our other topics such as: how to stop a divorce at our website.

Please Rate this Article

Not yet Rated