The Secret To Acquiring Real Friends

By: Richard Lee

In life, real friendship often eludes us. We look around and wonder what the heck is wrong with all the superficial people around us. Sometimes, we feel as though we want to throw a punch through the masks they wear because we are so frustrated by the lack of real friendship in our lives!

In order to find real friendship, we must understand people. Firstly, there is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. It doesn't matter if you are daddy's little girl or if you are talking with your best friend or working things out with your spouse.

The fact of the matter is that people are inherently selfish! They won't do anything without motivation. Most of the time, they are either motivated by fear of loss or for the benefits of gain.

Most of the time, the fear of loss or pain is what moves people to take action (which explains why people only try to patch up friendships and relationships when things are breaking apart instead of giving them due 'maintenance' like a car).

But if you were to factor in this fact into our personality, we usually have the tendency to feel that we are always right and everyone else is wrong.

I am not talking about facts and figures (like who gets the highest score in Jeopardy); I am referring to the moral values refracted through the lens of our eyes and our moral perceptions.

Many a times, people tend to see our faults clearly while we are all oblivious to our many idiosyncrasies and selfish behaviors.

There are some who would even go to the extreme and feel that the world would be a perfect place when the all the people around him would CHANGE THEIR LOUSY ATTITUDE, and then the world would be a better place.

Alas, history has proven time and again that an effort to change the world around us would be useless unless we learn to change ourselves first.

There is a saying in the Bible that goes something like this: Why do you notice the speck in your brother's eye, but you fail to see the PLANK that is in your OWN eye? Remove the plank in your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly (sometimes, the speck in your brother's eye might not even exist at all!)

At the end of the day, if you find that you can't stand all the people around you, then you should ask yourself this very important question... am I the one making life insufferable for them? Get right with yourself and the world around you and you will find that the problem is not with them... but with us!

Article Source: http://www.articlepro.co.uk/international

Richard Lee is a recognized expert on the subjects of human psychology and relationships and has written many books about them. Visit his website to get more information and signup for a FREE 5-day ecourse at makingfriends.webmarkets.biz

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